How Does It Feel?
by Gundamwinggirl
Summary: Edward and Alphonse have many differences, but in the end they are just the same. A song fic with no real pairings.


**Gwg: Another day, another fic...I started this sometime during Spring Break (I think) and I am just now finishing it. Some credit is due to a friend, which is listed at the bottom. So enjoy the fic and read on!**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the song How Does it Feel by Avril Lavigne. All I own is the plot of this story and the story itself (although I wouldn't mind owning Ed and Roy...although Roy has not one thing to do with this fic...)_**

_**How Does It Feel?  
****Oneshot**_

He hated not being able to feel anything. Even though it had only been a few years, he was starting to forget many things, mostly the feel of skin and the warmth of being held. He didn't really consider himself to be human anymore since he didn't need to eat or sleep, but his feelings were just as real as he was. His memories where his, and his only no matter what anyone else said.

_I'm not afraid of anything  
__I just need to know that I can breath  
__And I don't need much of anything  
__But suddenly suddenly_

They always made fun of his size, even though it really didn't matter. He was just a dog of the military who did as he was told while his commander held his leash. His only mission was to fix his biggest mistake, and to make his younger brother whole again. Even if they didn't realize it, he was only a fifteen year old kid with a bad attitude, at least that's what he showed to everyone else.

_I am small and the world is big  
__All around me is fast moving  
__Surrounded by so many things  
__Suddenly suddenly_

Their regrets weigh heavily on their minds and hearts, both wishing they could take back what happened to the other. Edward blames himself for pushing Alphonse into doing it, while Alphonse blames himself for not stopping Edward. He wonders how his younger brother was the one to pay so heavy a price for his mistake. Alphonse wonders why Edward feels the way he does.

They try so hard to help the other without thinking of themselves, which only leads to more problems in the end. They are not complete without the other, and yet it sometimes seems that even with eachother they are at a loss. They are so different, and yet they are so similar.

_How does it feel  
__To be different from me  
__Are we the same  
__How does it feel  
__To be different from me  
__Are we the same  
__How does it feel_

Equivalent Exchange...the first law of Alchemy. To him this is the one and only truth in a corrupted world, but sometimes it means giving up more than one would consider necessary. He knows that the more time his brother spends in the suit of armor, the more unhuman he begins to feel. He worries about him, but he also worries about himself and the price to be paid for the Philosopher's Stone.

Human lives...the ultimate sacrifice for the ultimate power. If he had truly thought about it along the lines of equivalent exchange then it would've made sense to him a lot sooner. Yet to get so close to finding redemption and salvation, only to be pulled down once again makes the body grow weary.

_I am young  
__And I am free  
__But I get tired and I get weak  
__I get lost and I can't sleep  
__But suddenly suddenly_

Edward would do anything to save his younger brother, while Alphonse would do anything to save his older brother. Alphonse is the calm thinker of the two, and Edward would rather blow shit up to suit his needs. They keep eachother in check, making sure the other doesn't get out of line. Tradegy has seperated them from everyone else, and yet it has only brought them closer.

Trust, betrayal, reflection...that is the lifestyle that the brother's have made for themselves on their winding road as they search for the Philosopher's Stone.

_How does it feel  
__To be different from me  
__Are we the same  
__How does it feel  
__To be different from me  
__Are we the same  
__How does it feel_

In all his years, Edward had cried more than any other human being. His brother, although not able to cry anymore, had shed just as many tears for the same reasons. It had been Edward's mistake, and yet his brother had paid the higher cost for it. He had promised himself and his younger brother to find the Philosopher's Stone, and to put everything back the way it had been before.

Even if he couldn't bring their Mother back, they still had each other. Now Edward only wishes that he had realized that fact sooner. Without Alphonse, Edward wouldn't be the person he was today. He wouldn't be strong or have so much courage, and he definately wouldn't have become a State Alchemist.

Without Edward, Alphonse wouldn't even exist anymore. His elder brother saved his life, a few times to be exact. He cannot cry or feel the touch of others, his memories are fading and he can't show his emotions too well, but he wouldn't have it any other way. He knows that without Edward he wouldn't be here, and he knows that Edward wouldn't be here without him. They comfort each other, cry for each other and love each other for everything that they've overcome.

_Would you comfort me  
__Would you cry with me_

Yet reflecting upon their past mistakes will get them nowhere, but without those same mistakes they wouldn't have gotten this far. Edward's innocence is forever lost in his amber eyes that show everything. Alphonse has grown up far too soon, but it has served a purpose in helping his headstrong brother. Each are different from the other, and yet they are the same. Both are small, even though Alphonse tends to stand out in crowds more than his elder brother.

_I am small  
__And the world is big  
__But I'm not afraid of anything_

__

How does it feel  
To be different from me  
Are we the same  
How does it feel  
To be different from me  
Are we the same  
How does it feel  
To be different from me  
Are we the same  
How does it feel  
To be different from me  
Are we the same

Oh oh oh...

How does it feel  
How does it feel  
You're different from me  
Different  
How does it feel  
How does it feel  
You're different from me  
Different

Edward and Alphonse Elric, bound by blood and the love of brothers.

**Gwg: That must have really, really turned out crappy...I can just tell...Well anyways, a friend (Elementalist) wanted me to write it for her and so I did...She did do the layout of the story after I sent her the lyrics, so my thanks to her on that. Also, I am now a Co-Chef of her fic, Recipes...a must read...Lol, so until the next time, ja ne.**


End file.
